Interviews and Such

Interviews and other formal meetings can be very daunting, especially if you're desperate to be accepted as the gender you identify with.

Personally, I don't like to reveal that I am trans, and thankfully I needn't disclose it because I pass 100% of the time now. However, pre-hormones, I did appreciate it when people perhaps warned others beforehand to avoid the awkwardness of misgendering etc, because I was never brave enough to speak up for myself if the situation ever arose.

I was fortunate enough to not have to deal with job interviews between the time that I came out and started hormones because I had a job where I was fully accepted and felt comfortable.

My college interview was pretty scary, but my present tutor was really friendly and I felt perfectly comfortable just being myself. I even found out later in the year that when he was told I was trans he was surprised and supposedly clueless.

I don't plan to ever tell a future employer or tutor that I am trans because it shouldn't matter and I like to think it's not so obvious anymore. That being said, I would like to work with trans people, so I would happily confess in that situation.

Although it is illegal to discriminate against potential employees, it does happen, I know people who it has happened to, and I wouldn't want to risk being turned down.

The only thing about formal meetings and events that make me feel particularly uncomfortable is what to wear. Suits set off my dysphoria like nothing else. Around a year ago, I went suit shopping with my mum and ended up an emotional wreck because they made me feel so disproportionate and showed me how far I was from where I wanted to be. I feel like I'd still get upset if I went now, but I will have to brave it sooner or later for university interviews. You never know, I may be pleasantly surprised. I'll have to let you know...

fab

Losing Loved Ones

Unfortunately, a really big issue the majority of trans people have to face is losing loved ones because of their transition. Thankfully, I haven't had to deal with a lot of that.

When I first came out, a few of my family members send me messages and letters showing their support and reassuring me that I'm still loved and accepted. I urge anybody with a trans family member to do this. It's never too late.

I still have absolutely no idea what a few family members think of me and my transition and although I'd love to know, perhaps they've stayed silent for a reason and I respect that.

Although it wasn't completely directly to do with my transition, I did lose two very important close family members. I was told that due to my transition I was not allowed contact with a family member and because of this I told another that I no longer wanted them in my life. I refuse to feel guilty for who I am.

It still hurts, but I spent most of my teen years being bullied by that side of the family and I don't need toxic people in my life, I've fought to hard to get to where I am now.

As always, there is a positive to this situation. It has taught me a lot, mainly to do with becoming a parent. Being supposedly infertile and unable to have children of my own, I love the idea of adoption. What losing certain family members has taught me is that it wouldn't matter if they were related to me, my children will be my children and they will come first.

When I become a dad, I'll be a dad for the rest of my life, not for a few years until something else comes along.

Today has been a sad day, but I'm feeling pretty body positive and I'm wearing my new happy top (it has rainbows and stuff on it)

Happy birthday, George.

fab

5 Months on T - Update and Voice Comparison

Due to a tremendous lack of communication between doctors and clinics, I have only just booked my third jab for the 19th of October, but at least it's finally happening!!

Tomorrow, I am five months on T and very happy with the changes so far.

Over the last month specifically I've noticed a sudden increase in body hair, mainly on my stomach. I'm also getting chest hair, not much but it's beginning to grow.

The thing I'm most happy about is that my 'monthly cycle' appears to have stopped for definite.

HALLELUJAH

I have lost some weight recently, going back to what I was before I started hormones. My trousers are beginning to slip from my hips, which I'm hoping is a sign that my body fat is starting to go to the right places.

I feel that, mentally, I am completely back to normal after the first initial surge of hormones. I'm not confused, angry or outrageously sexually frustrated anymore... although I do still get aroused very easily.

My voice has pretty much stayed the same, I think it's just starting to be more natural to me, so less voice cracks occur. Check out the comparison below:

I'm comfortable with using the men's bathroom and haven't been misgendered by a stranger in months. Couldn't be happier.

fab