It has been over two years since I got my first tattoo. I can remember sitting nervously in the waiting area, overwhelmed by the stench of antibacterial gel, and staring at my upper left forearm, thinking of how it will never look the same again. For a lot of people, the permanence of tattoos is enough to put them off the idea, but for me, it is exactly why I am totally addicted to adding to my collection.
Transitioning is a very slow and desperate process. Waiting times for hormone replacement treatment and surgeries are long - literally years long - so, many trans people look to other ways to speed up their transition into a body they can love. That's what a transition is, it's physical, not mental. The point I feel like I spend my entire life putting across to people is that being transgender is not a mental condition, but a physical one, that's why we change our bodies, not our minds.
(Perhaps if gender identity clinics weren't classed as mental health clinics within the NHS, waiting times would be a whole lot shorter... alternatively, mental health services could actually be designated appropriate funding. But that's a WHOLE other topic for another day!)
To speed up their transition, some people seek alternative ways of increasing their testosterone levels, some people get fit, and some get body modifications.
This is certainly why I get my tattoos. It creates a new piece of my body that I like. When I'm deciding what to get next, I see my body almost as a jigsaw puzzle. Where should I fill in next? It's like saying goodbye to an old piece of the body you very much hated and felt uncomfortable in.
Not all trans people feel dysphoria or the need to physically transition, but for me, my dysphoria is the only trans thing about me... and perhaps my secret collection of trans memes.
Tattoos can empower and liberate anyone, whoever they are or however they identify, but for me my tattoos really do keep me going, and two years ago, they kept me alive.
Let me introduce you to my ever-growing collection. Trust me, I would have a lot more but the student lifestyle is more beer and pot noodles than champagne and tattoos.
1) Trans tattoo
My first is my 'trans' tattoo. I didn't want the trans flag nor symbol because I effectively didn't want 'I AM TRANS' drawn permanently onto my body. This was at a time when I was nowhere near proud to be transgender, it was just a constant source of torture and the last thing I wanted to be, but I did want something to document my journey.
I created this design out of glyphs, which are small symbols that have different meanings. The glyphs stand for: transition. transform, transcend and transfuse. So, essentially, it is a very trans-orientated tattoo, but unless you just so happen to know your glyphs, you'd never know.
I would possibly consider getting a more obvious trans tattoo now, as I am proud of my journey and my community, but I don't plan to any time soon.
2) Rexy
My best friend is called Rex! He's wacky, he's intelligent, he can be a massive pain in the arse and, quite simply, that's why I love him. We have seven years of some really messy history but for the last three we've been inseparable. No one really knows either of us until they've met the other.
For his 19th birthday, I decided to get a tattoo dedicated to him and the obvious choice was a tyrannosaurus rex. I searched all over for a design and eventually, by complete accident, I stumbled across this design by one of my favourite artists. A t-rex floating up with balloons, holding a cocktail glass, and I though, yeah, that's my friend.
So now I have Rexy on my calf.
(Rex, you still owe me a tattoo!)
3) Bee
My bee is possibly my favourite tattoo so far. I like getting tattoos to remind me of people. This bee is for my mum. She's such an amazing person, I hope you get the pleasure of meeting her one day, you'll love her just as the rest of my friends do. She's so open minded and is one of my best friends because of it. She is a bee keeper and I love insect tattoos (I need more).
The long sting is so that I can incorporate it into a sleeve eventually.
4) "I will not stay silent so you can stay comfortable"
I LOVE this tattoo because it gives me a great indication as to whether I will get along with somebody or not. More open minded people tend to like it, whereas close minded people tend to just assume that I'm angry at the world.
This tattoo is read by people in different ways. Some read it as I will stand up against the oppressor despite inconveniencing them and some read it as I will stand up for the oppressed so that they can feel comfortable. Either way is correct, but it should be interesting for you to see who you assumed I was talking to.
Some people, usually older folk, find this tattoo offensive. They tend to come from rich, white, middle-class backgrounds, in other words: ignorant, privileged people. They think I'm a rebellious troublemaker, perhaps because they've been sheltered from real world issues, or maybe they just don't care. The truth is, if you immediately take offence to my tattoo, you're probably one of those people...
I believe that if you have privilege, you should use it to liberate those who don't, hence this tattoo.
5) Seahorse
Another subtle trans tattoo. Male seahorses are the ones who give birth. A lot of transmen still bare children and I think they're the bravest men in the world. You never know, I might do it myself one day (doubt it though)!
6) Flag
I got this matching tattoo with my wonderful friend, Sarah, when we went to Brighton Pride. It was her first tattoo and although she isn't LGBT+ herself, she got this with me as an ally, and I really admire her for that.
I took her tattoo virginity, so she took my burrito virginity!
7) Bow tie
My bow tie is to remind me of the summer of 2017. I spent it improving myself and falling in love with my best friend. My geek of a (now) boyfriend is rarely seen without a bow tie and so that is where the inspiration came from.
I know not all tattoos need to having a meaning, but my tattoos mean the world to me.
fab
