A Second Transition

The last month has been a weird one.

I celebrated 1 year on T on the 13th of May... kind of. That day was an enormous eye opener as to how miserable I was. I was still very unhappy with my body, recently had my heart broken, was drinking too much and very behind on my college work. My living situation also changed very dramatically as my grandmother was moved into a home, which has consequently given me my freedom back, but also means that I'll be without a home to come back to next year.

I decided that I was the only one who could turn my situation into a positive.

I've always relied on others to make me happy, I haven't been more than six months without a relationship since I was fifteen and became lonely very easily. I think it is trans-related as I've always needed reassurance that I'm good enough, which obviously got me into situations and relationships that were very unhealthy.

I decided that I needed to create my own happiness.

I started working out, spending more time with my friends and getting my coursework done.

Now, 38 days later, I'm in the happiest place I think I have ever been.

I'm going to the gym almost daily, I feel more of a part of my friendship group as my confidence has grown, and I've caught up with my coursework and will definitely have the grades I need to get into university.

I have also got over my last relationship. I'm actually enjoying being single and have no desire to commit to anyone new. I plan to move to university in October and start my new life on my own, which I'm so excited for.

I've also met another transman who I've become very close to. I've always wanted a good relationship with another transguy, but never found one I had a whole lot in common with. This guy is basically me so we never really run out of things to talk about!

I feel as though it's almost been a second transition. I figured out who I am, now I need to become the best me I can possibly be.

fab