Parties

Parties are always a bit daunting for anybody who is self-conscious or suffers from anxiety.

So as a transman who suffers from anxiety, parties can be exhausting.

On the 10th of November 2014, I went to my first party as Frank. I'd warned people beforehand that I didn't want to be referred to as my dead-name* and as soon as the front door opened Vini shouted "Frank!", gave me a big hug and forced a vodka shot down my throat.

As the evening went on, people made an effort to call me Frank and use male pronouns.

Although, the evening ended in a panic attack and being driven home by an ex-boyfriend, it was a good party and I realised how much I had been taking my friends for granted over the years.

Thank you all for being so accepting <3

Nowadays, dead-naming and misgendering aren't really a problem. New acquaintances may slip up on pronouns, but my friends have my back and I'm not too sensitive about it anymore.

Issues do occur when people I meet have a lot of questions and don't know what is polite and what is offensive and invasive, especially when drunk.

"What are you?"

"So if you like girls, are you a lesbian?"

"Do you have a penis?"

"When you get a penis, can I see it?"

You don't have to be a genius to realise that these questions are inappropriate or could cause upset.

Otherwise, I like parties, I love my friends, I enjoy meeting new people and am very much looking forward to the next one.

(Sorry, for pushing you off the sofa, Mitko)

*A dead-name is the name a trans person was given at birth but no longer goes by. You should never dead-name a trans person.

fab