My Mum

Today is my mum's birthday so I decided to write a piece about her.

First of all my mum is SUPER COOL.

• She owns a trike, called Connie (pictured) and got me into biking.
• She works as an Occupational Therapy Technician and gets to meet very elderly people, which I think is cool because who gets to meet a hundred year olds often?
• She's a bee keeper and dedicates a lot of time to tending to the bees and getting to know her stuff.
• She's a single mum who cares for my grandmother and has three incredibly awesome children (I'm the favourite, sorry Chris and Steve).
• She's a grandmother and she looks twenty.
• And finally: My mum has been my no.1 supporter since I came out to her.

She knew I had problems with my gender around the same time that I came out to my friends in October 2014, but it became a reality to her when I told her that I was transgender around Easter time 2015. To educate her, we would watch documentaries and talk openly about it a lot until I settled in to being her third son.

She worked hard to get me into CAMHS and came to all of my appointments.

I think what made her realise that I really wasn't a woman was that I wanted top surgery, a double mastectomy, as supposedly no woman would ever want to get rid of her breasts.

When I have bad days when my dysphoria really gets to me so much so that I don't want to do anything or see anyone, she would find a way to distract me, usually taking me out for a cup of tea or for a walk around a garden centre.

We always called the house we used to live in an 'LGBTQ safe haven'. I have a lot of friends who are LGBTQ and were always welcome in our home. My close friend who is a transwoman was able to come over and dress in her preferred clothing when she wasn't allowed to at home and many nights were spent reciting dance routines and singing along to 80's music (Mum joined in, of course).

My full name is Francis Alastair Brierley. Alastair after her, Alice. There were no other options.

Losing a daughter and gaining a son was not easy for her. I feel guilty for depriving her of having a daughter, but she knows I had to become who I was and she's been there every step of the way.

(2013-2015)

It's difficult enough being a single parent, let alone one to a trans person. I don't tell her enough but I love her to the moon and back and I appreciate her every single day.

I wish every trans person had a mum like her.

Thanks mum.

Happy birthday!!

fab