Cisphobia - The Hatred of People 'Born in the Right Body'

(I'm aware that this is a touchy topic, but it is something I feel that I need to speak up about)

Today is, apparently, straight pride.

I've read a lot of rants from LGBTQ members about why this is wrong:

• Straight people have never been punished, bullied, beaten or killed for being straight.
• To claim straight pride is to deny the horrific history of the LGBTQ community.
• Being straight is easy, there is no coming out or worry of being abandoned.
• It could be considered a piss-take.

All true, right?! And perhaps you've heard this before:

So perhaps straight pride isn't necessary. But why can't straight people have as much pride as lesbians, gays, bisexuals, etc?

For example:

Overall, the trans community are the most loving, accepting and brave group of people I have ever had the pleasure to know and become a part of. Why? Because they know what it is like to be abandoned, abused and feel the constant desperation to be loved for who they truly are.

However, everybody has heard of transphobia, but I've also witnessed cisphobia within the trans community. Yes, being trans is incredibly hard, but blaming people for not understanding and attacking and spreading hate just sets off a cycle of hatred between communities.

As a trans person, I very quickly realised that being angry and sensitive was not going to allow me to live a happy life. When somebody says something mildly offensive or inaccurate, the likelihood is that they are either interested, uneducated, or somebody you don't need to waste your time speaking to.

By being so quick to anger, I feel that it gives off the stereotype that all trans people are angry and unapproachable. Which is simply not true.

Yes. People should be careful with their words and questions to make sure they are not being offensive or inappropriate, but that goes for everybody to everybody.

I'm aware that this may be easier for me to say as I'm surrounded by people who I know will back me up if anything ever turns ugly, but taking this calmer, more open approach to, perhaps ignorant, people makes life not only easier for yourself but also means that they can't hold anything against you, because you come across as a decent, chilled out person.

Personally, I'm incredibly open to anybody as long as they're not making fun of me or being inappropriate. It's difficult to know the boundaries, I know, I guess for me it depends on how well we know each other. I hate to think that my friends hold off from asking questions, because it makes me feel unapproachable and isolated in a strange way.

So, I feel that being angry at cisgender people for being ignorant about trans issues is totally unnecessary and a waste of energy.

How can I expect anybody to respect my transition and who I am, if I don't respect everybody else's identity?

Back on topic...

The same stance on cisgender people, should apply to straight people also.

In an ideal world there would be no such thing as LGBTQ pride, because there would be no need for it, as it would be as accepted in society as being straight. The point that I'm trying to convey is that everybody deserves to feel pride and nobody deserves hate.

The message the LGBTQ community are constantly putting across is that it is normal and natural to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans or any other sexuality or gender. Yet we need our pride.

But if everybody is the same as everybody else, no matter who they are or love... can't straight people take pride in being straight?

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One and a Half Months on T, and Single

I had to break up with the man I love yesterday. Not because we had an argument, nor because we are no longer compatible, but because my changing sexuality has left me perplexed and quite depressed.

My sexuality was never something I've felt that I've had to hide. I've identified as straight, bisexual, lesbian, gay and, for the past year, I've considered myself to not have a sexual preference. If I found someone attractive, I found someone attractive, if I fell in love with someone, I fell in love with someone, gender was never an issue.

Right now, I can only imagine myself with a woman. So why don't I think that I'm fully straight?

Because I still find men attractive. Whether I will end up being with a man again, I simply don't know. I secretly like to think so because I find that I'm a lot more at ease with men, and, to be perfectly honest, pretty damn awkward around women I find attractive.

I'm sure that what many people want to ask about, but feel too invasive doing so, is sex. I'll actually write about it another time (obviously not about my sex life but my view on certain aspects of sex as a trans person).

Currently, having sex with a cisgender man is too uncomfortable and, however much I enjoy it, sets off my dysphoria and I'm left feeling disgusting.

I might be 2mm below 5'4", practically hairless and kind of twinky-looking, but I've come to realise that I am not a bottom!! (I feel too awkward explaining what a 'bottom' is to those who aren't aware of the expression so feel free to look it up)

All of this has made me feel lost, depressed and, above all, heart broken. This was the man I planned to spend the rest of my life with and I still love him as much as I did when I first told him at Marylebone station. He has been there for me every step of the way since he entered my life and although I secretly hope I will rediscover my original sexuality, I refuse to lead him on and make him wait. I love him too much to do that to him.

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The Feeling of Emptiness

Since starting testosterone, my mood and thought processes have been the hardest change.

My mood dramatically plummeted in the first week and I found it very hard not to go over the edge. However, writing this blog has actually really lifted my spirits. Just writing out how I feel, whether anybody reads it or not, makes me feel a lot better about it all.

I feel like I've become a lot more aggressive, not only am I quick to anger, but I've realised that I've started saying what I think, almost blurting it out, whereas before I wouldn't have said anything.

I've found it very hard to concentrate as well. Not on coursework, or socializing, but on my emotions. I can't for the life of me think about how I truly feel about anything important. I can sit there for minutes, thinking of the issue and desperately trying to dig deep inside my skull and discover how I feel about it, just to end up with the same nonchalant attitude about it. It's like trying the grab smoke.

This has made things especially difficult with my relationship. I love my boyfriend, I really do, but recently I just can't feel anything strongly towards him. It's especially frustrating as my sexuality has seemed to have left me attracted to women only.

I like to think that I love him enough that sexuality means nothing.

I assume that the feeling of emptiness will subside, I guess I just have to rediscover myself again.

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Why I did not go to London Pride 2016

I did not go to London Pride 2016 because I am not yet proud.

I am not 'proud' of who I am.

I am comfortable in my sexuality, but I would not say that I am 'proud' of it.

I take no pride in being transsexual. There is nothing cool or glamorous about being trans. It's actually completely awful. Waking up and fighting the same urges every single day to just stay in bed and hope the world will forget about you is exhausting and tedious and, more than anything, I wish it would just stop. But it won't unless I pick myself up and make the changes that will make me happier happen.

The main reason I am not proud is because my identity has not yet benefitted others, it has not made anybody happy nor change anybody's views on trans issues.

Having said all of this, something that I have come to terms with recently is that I want to make a difference. I used to be so unhappy about being trans that I didn't want anybody to know once it became less obvious. But I've realised that being bitter and wallowing in my own self pity is not going to help anybody, especially myself. There are too many LGBT members who are suffering and losing their lives whilst I'm transitioning smoothly and fully accepted in my own little world.

I want to stand for LGBT rights and fight against hate. I want to educate people, I want to spread the message that sexuality, gender and love is not a weapon nor evil. To make people feel safe in being who they are and create a community that will stand up for each other, whether they're black, white, Christian, Muslim, straight, gay, cis, trans, or anything in between.

Then, and only then, will I feel pride.
And if I, myself, am killed for what I believe in then I will join my heroes, Harvey Milk, Matt Shepherd, Leelah Alcorn, the Orlando victims, and all the people who have gone before me, whether taken by a gun, a blade or by their own accord, and we will have a lot to talk about.

Everyone should feel pride in themselves, this is just how I feel. My feelings do not represent how the trans community feel and I hope they find pride in themselves easier than me.

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EU Referendum and Trans Rights

Leaving with EU will not improve lesbian, gay, bisexual and transsexual rights.

The biggest problem trans people are facing when transitioning is the ridiculously long waiting lists to be seen by a Gender Identity Clinic. This is due to staff shortages. Remaining in the EU allows people to move freely across Europe, which means that the NHS have more of a chance of hiring people from across the continent. When I went to a lecture hosted by the Charing Cross clinic, their new, much needed surgeon was German.

An understaffed and over worked clinic can not fully meet the needs of it's patients.

If we leave, UK citizens will not be entitled to free healthcare in other EU countries. Personally, I wish to travel and migrate around Europe, so if I settle down in, say, the Netherlands, I can not receive free care in their clinics.

Why should I receive free health care? Because I am human and I believe that health care fees are an abomination.

The Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership may very well disassemble the NHS, and the Conservatives, as we know, are behind that movement, whereas a lot of Europe is against the idea.

A new privatised health care system could mean a lot of trans people would have to suffer with out medical treatment... The suicide rate is high enough, thanks.

Our LGBT rights are milestones ahead of other EU countries. The EU wants us to lead others towards a safer and more accepting environment for the LGBT community all over the continent. How brilliant would that be?!

We're all human.

Leaving the EU gives our government the power to toy with our human rights, and looking at the government we currently have... I don't trust them with mine.

All this being said, vote for what matters to you. It's just important that you do vote.

The EU is not perfect, but currently I firmly believe that staying in is best for, not just the LGBT community, but this entire country.

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Binding

To alleviate dysphoria from the chest and hide our breasts, transmen (usually) bind.

Binding involves flattening the breasts to create a flat chest.

You've probably heard of people using bandages or tape to bind, but this can be very damaging to your breasts, ribs and cause breathing problems. When using ace bandages, the person will stretch the material around themselves and secure it. The material will then slowly begin to recoil and tighten.

I would never recommend doing this to anybody, even for a cosplay or Halloween costume etc.

Binders are a godsend.

Binders are an actual piece of clothing that is much safer. Originally invented as surgical compression vests, the trans community has become the biggest market for companies, such as Underworks and gc2b.

I wear this binder: Tri-top Chest Binder by Underworks

The only time I don't wear it is when sleeping, washing or having a lazy day at home. I couldn't even imagine leaving the house without it on.

Personally, I find mine comfortable and have never had any trouble with breathing. However, on hot days, or now that I've started testosterone, wearing a binder gets sweaty and sometimes smelly if you don't keep washing and reapplying deodorant. It can get pretty miserable and frustrating but in my eyes, until I get top surgery, there is no other option.

I've been wearing my binder daily for over a year and half now and I have gone from an E cup to a C cup, which I'm incredibly happy about. Also, my breast tissue is a lot less dense and flattens very easily.

As always, if you have any further questions, feel free to ask, I'm 100% open.

fab

Dysphoria

Body dysphoria: A state of unease or dissatisfaction with ones' body.

Or as trans people may say: The feeling of being in somebody else's body. A body that does not belong to you. A body you can not identify with. Feeling as if you were born in the wrong body.

A lot of people can't even begin to imagine being trans. How could they? Only trans people know what it's truly like to be trans. But, cisgender* people, let's try, shall we?

Don't ask yourself what it would be like to feel like the opposite sex.

Imagine if you had the opposite sex's body.

How would you feel?

• Wrong?
• Confused?
• Depressed?
• Disgusting?

Now imagine feeling that every single day, every single second. Comparing yourself to every person with your desired body.

Dysphoria eats away at you.

Personally, some days I feel very little dysphoria and on other days I will not leave the house, because I feel so disgusting, so distressed that I just want to rip out of my skin. I would turn my mirrors around so I wouldn't have to look at myself and contemplate doing things I'm so glad I never followed through.

I do not feel that I was 'born in the wrong body'. Despite how unbelievably miserable it can make me, this is my body. I might plan to remove or add certain parts, but this is my body. It functions efficiently and for that I am grateful.

The only way that I can begin to feel comfortable with my body is to alleviate the dysphoria. I can try and hide or shape my body into one I'm more comfortable with. Make me appear more masculine to the people who will view me as my physical gender. Make me be able to turn those mirrors back around and look at myself and say, "I am not as bad as I view myself"
Dysphoria is personal and from the outside looking in you may not be able to see it, but it's always there, like a physical depression.
(I will go into how I alleviate dysphoria on other posts.)

Trans people aren't the only people that experience dysphoria. People with weight issues or even just people with severe insecurities about their body suffer too.

Dysphoria is what makes us realise who we really are and is the driving force that makes us want to change our bodies.

Perhaps if more people could see that transsexualism is a physical issue rather than a mental one, there would be less discrimination and hatred towards us?

*Cisgender =  Identifying with the sex you were assigned at birth. The opposite of transgender.

Aiden: Dysphoria is the urge to rip yourself out of the wrong skin.

Cameron: Dysphoria is like a person who always follows you around, putting you down

Elliot-Jay: Dysphoria is when you look down and see things that ain't meant to be there, dysphoria haunts me everyday making me trapped!

Jakob: Dysphoria is a constant feeling of discomfort.

Koda James: Dysphoria is crying yourself to sleep every night because you're trapped like a bird in a cage waiting to be free.

Leon: Discomfort and sadness.

Noah: A constant anxiety and sadness.

Piper: Dysphoria is the weight on your chest before putting your binder on. It's the tears that come to your eyes when you realise how long it might be until you get your surgery. Dysphoria is the monster under your bed, only it's much more deadly.

Thomas: Dysphoria is a horrible feeling of discomfort that over runs our lives.

Tyler: Dysphoria is an all-pervading wrongness, a sinister whisper on the good days and a cacophonous roar when I am most vulnerable

Xander: The thing that makes your chest tight then you put a binder on and it becomes tighter for a second before releasing as you hear the word Sir- dysphoria.

Zach: Dysphoria is like being trapped in a cave inside that struggles to break free out in society.

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Voice Comparison

One Month on T

(T = Testosterone)

This month has gone so quickly. I have seen changes already which is really exciting!!

• Voice - My voice has got lower. I have more of a growl and I've been experiencing some amazing voice cracks which are both embarrassing and exhilarating. (Will post a voice comparison in the next post)
• Skin - I get a lovely greasy face if I don't wash within 12 hours and I've got some delightful acne coming in along my jaw line (luckily my freckles hide it well)
• Hair - My leg hair is getting darker and thicker, mainly on my calves but also down the inside of my upper thigh. I have a good snail trail going on too (hair between the belly button and the crotch). My facial hair is becoming slightly more noticeable and is growing back faster as I shave.
• Appetite - I've always had a large appetite and I haven't noticed any change. I have been drinking a lot more though, I often find myself gasping for water.
• Mood - My mood has dramatically decreased, I have felt depressed and hiding it has become harder and harder. Also, anger has been a problem, sudden very strong urges to punch someone or get into an argument are almost uncontrollable. However, I'm happy to say I haven't... yet. It's especially strange as I've never been an angry person.
• Libido - Well...
  

  
  

  
• Sexuality - An effect I was not expecting was a change in my sexuality. I've never had a sexual preference, but recently I've had very little sexual attraction to men. This has made things between myself and my boyfriend pretty problematic.

All these changes are difficult, yet very exciting as I was not expecting to see so much in the first month.

(Oh yeah and my urine stinks!!)

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First Shot of Testosterone

I got my first shot of testosterone on the Friday the 13th of May. My mum and boyfriend, Andrew, travelled up to London with me to the clinic and with in ten minutes of waiting Dr C called me in and prepared the injection in front of me. I usually have no problem with needle but I could see this was no normal needle. So naturally my heart was racing with anticipation as I waited for this goliath stabbing tool to be inserted into my upper buttock.

He asked me to turn around and pull my trousers down a bit, so I did and braced myself. I felt him press it against my skin for around ten seconds and wondered what he was waiting for when he suddenly went back to his chair and said "Done". So the actual injection was painless.

Then he said, "It'll start to sting in a few minutes"

Ok, let's get this straight...

THAT WAS NOT A STINGING PAIN

THAT WAS AN 'I'VE BEEN CHARGED INTO BY AN ELEPHANT AND GOT STUCK ON IT'S TUSK' PAIN

Why was I not warned about this? Why do transmen never talk about how much it hurts?

I don't want to scaremonger but woah!! It was scary, I had to sit down for half an hour in agony in a nearby park thinking he'd done it wrong. Luckily, I had my mum, boyfriend and best mate, Rex, who arrived, to distract me. (Although I was constantly aware of where Rex was because both times I have had a tattoo recently done, he's either accidentally kicked, whipped or slapped and grabbed it... grrrrrrrr)

Once home and the pain was no longer constant, it was time for Pimms with the two blokes and Ellen. (Walking around definitely helped)

The pain lessened over the next three days and I'm happy to say my butt is back to normal.

So to those who are looking forward to their first injection, I'm not trying to scare you but I personally wish I'd been warned, although I'm sure it's different for everybody.

Advise: Do not get a shot on your own, have someone to help you home and distract you through the pain.
To end on a high note, totally worth it!!

fab

Hormone Replacement Therapy and Going Private

After finding out there is a 13 month wait to be seen by the NHS Gender Identity Clinic, I became desperate and decided if I put all my money together I could afford to speed up the process and go private.

I'm not a big fan of private clinics as I believe that more money needs to go into the NHS, however, I came to the conclusion that it was this or...

So I went to Transhealth, a private clinic near Baker Street, London, run by Dr Curtis and his very stylish secretary.

First session with Dr Curtis: £260

Two counselling session with James Caspian*: £140 (£70 each)

Second session with Dr Curtis: £140

*I absolutely loved James Caspian, he was brilliant to talk to, very easy going and have a sweet light-hearted sense of humour. RECOMMENDED

After the second session with Dr Curtis, he prescribed me testosterone, Nebido 1000mg.

Unfortunately, my hormone levels were worrying so I had to wait four months to have an MRI, by which time my progesterone levels had returned to normal.

In addition, my surgery refused to deliver my injection due to health and safety reasons, because it is such a big needle and dosage.

So I went back to Dr Curtis out of desperation and paid £135 for my first shot.

I do not regret spending that money.

I do not plan to have any surgeries done privately at the moment and I hope that once I get in to the NHS GIC, they will take over my hormone therapy for free.

The following is the letter I wrote to my mum regarding going private:

Dear Mum,

I am writing to you as I find it difficult to talk truthfully about this topic without getting upset.

I have been struggling with my gender since I was fifteen. Although it is ‘only’ eight months until I hopefully have my first appointment with Charring Cross, it feels like I’ve waited a lifetime already and eight months is simply too long. My transition the most important thing to be right now and will be until I begin my medical transition. This is and has been making education nearly impossible on bad days. My goal this year is to stay happy and complete my Business course, but I don’t see myself doing it if all I can think about is the desperately long wait.

A while ago, going private was not even an option but I now feel that it is the best option for me.

Ever since the lecture at Charing Cross, I have been ready, mentally, for hormones. If I go with the NHS, it will be June before I have my first appointment and the likelihood of me starting HRT before Christmas isn’t worth counting on. However, if I go to the Transhealth clinic (private), (if I were to book an appointment now) I will get my first appointment in Mid-November and I should start hormones around February!

This just makes sense to me..

Whilst we stay at Granny’s, I will receive £220 a month from Dad’s maintenance money. I should also be able to put £100, possibly more, towards it from my own money from working. That’s more than enough per month for the clinic. I will also start a Crowd Funding account, which may mean I get to save some of my own money.

As for surgeries, I am willing to risk making it harder to have them, to pass as a man. Being misgendered is like people pointing out the thing you’re most self-conscious about when referring to you. It’s debilitating.

Also, from what I have heard and researched, it’s easier to transfer countries and clinics when done privately.

Give it a think J

Lots of love,

Frank xxx

Not everybody can afford to go private, but if you can afford it I really recommend it. If your child is trans and struggling and you have the money, don't let it get to the stage where they become depressed and desperate.

fab

Deed Poll

Changing my name was the best thing I have ever done for myself. The freedom and the weight off your shoulders is overwhelming.
It's safe to say that getting a deed poll was not a difficult decision for me.
Keeping old name:

• Completely avoiding using ID
• Constant worry that people will know/find out
• Old name on registers
• If somebody argues that it's not your name, you have no backup

Changing name:

• Able to use ID
• Not worrying so much that people know
• New name of registers
• If somebody argues that it's not your name... well, it is.
• If you are required to have been living 'in role' for a year, it's solid proof that you have done so
• Confidence boost
  

I definitely recommend changing your name as soon as possible if you're trans. It makes you feel so much more comfortable and even if you're not 100% sure then it may be worth doing to confirm who you feel that you really are.

fab

Socially Transitioning

I have absolutely no idea how I socially transitioned.

It feels like a decade ago since I came out to my friends, family and colleagues and to be perfectly honest I can't really remember much of it.

The important thing to remember is that you don't have to come out all at once in a dramatic outburst or a post on Facebook. I took six months from telling my friends late Autumn to telling my father early summer.

What I do remember of the very long and very tiring ordeal is that it was as smooth as it possibly could have been. I never surrounded myself with bigots or people who would have a problem with such situations so I was welcomed far and wide.

Family

My mum was always there for me and it was all her that got me this far in my medical transition. As soon as I came out about my gender issues, she fought for me to get an appointment with CAMHS, who then referred me to Charing Cross.

I'm aware that she struggles a whole lot more with my transition than she lets off and I am forever thankful that she has always been welcoming to who I really am.

My father was also 100% on-board with my

transition, however, due to other members of the family having problems with it, I no longer see him or my younger brother.

It's one of the hardest experiences to lose a loved one through choice, it continues to break my heart but I have recently realised that it is not my fault that I am who I am and blaming myself will only continue to make me miserable.

Never blame yourself or anybody else for being transgender.

I still feel guilt about being transgender every now and then. I deprived my parents of having a daughter and gave them another son. I don't think that guilt will ever truly pass but it's not affecting my way of life nor will it ever. I, as the trans person, am not the only one who will suffer and you have to realise that from day one.

Friends

I have the best friends in the world. I was going through a rough patch when I came out to them.

I didn't even have to tell each and every one, because, as I guess as it is with most friendship circles, once a couple know, they all know. At the time I found it very frustrating and annoying that friends already knew without me telling them.  I believed that they would come to their own conclusions about it and whisper behind my back because I hadn't had the chance to explain.

I should not have thought badly of my friends.

Every single one respected my transition and started calling me 'Frank' (because apparently I don't suit Francis!).

As a matter of fact, them spreading the word made it so much easier for me. I can't even explain how tedious it is the repeat the same story, the same explanation every day to somebody new.

As with anybody, not just trans people, it is so important to surround yourself with open minded, loving people who will support you what ever life throws your way.

You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends, and they make me feel like the luckiest man in the world every single day.

Work

I worked at a garden centre for two years. People from the age of 16 to 70+ worked there and they really proved to me that it's not just the younger generation that are accepting. They asked all the right questions and used the correct pronouns and name even when I hadn't legally changed my documents.

They are all fantastic people and I miss them all.

I have absolutely no idea how I socially transitioned.

I possibly have the easiest and simplest coming out story in history, but not all trans people are as lucky as me. It is so important to support anybody going through any transition or difficult time.
49% of trans people have attempted or will attempt suicide in their lifetimes. Don't be the reason they kill themselves, be the reason they build themselves.

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My Short Life Story

I had a very androgynous childhood. Brought up in a Vicarage in Oxfordshire, I played with both stereotypical boys and girls toys. My parents didn’t believe in certain objects being for boys and others for girls. My mum kept my hair short and I was never pressured to choose a Barbie over a toy car, nor to play with my dressing table instead of going outside to go frog hunting.

I was both baptised and confirmed wrapped in rainbow cloth. You could call it a coincidence, but I like to think of it as foreshadowing.

At the age of eight, we moved to Buckinghamshire and my parents divorced. My father eventually remarried and had my baby brother.

When I reached the age that appearance and gender became more important, I wanted to be a boy. I wore boys clothes and had no interest in make up or stereotypical girly things. I wanted to be a boy, but didn't know what that meant.

Then puberty hit and I started to take an interest in how I looked. I lost a lot of weight, tried to wear what all the ‘popular’ girls wore, and I generally enjoyed having fun with my female friends.

When I was fifteen, I had my first girlfriend. I learned a great deal about myself. Mainly that I was attracted to women! Also, that I wasn’t happy in my body.

I then had an on and off relationship with my now dearest friend. He made me feel comfortable with my body and neither of us played the ‘male’ nor ‘female’ role in the relationship. It was very equal. I stopped desperately trying to look like one of the ‘popular’ girls and created my own image, one I was incredibly happy with, and made me feel attractive. I also started wearing men’s clothing. I found it made me feel strangely at ease.

When I was sixteen, I dated an older guy. He was very shy and inexperienced, but definitely played the ‘male’ role in the relationship. I found it very difficult and it became a constant subconscious battle of masculinity for me.

My body began to become more and more of an issue in the Summer of 2014. In which, I temporarily moved out due to troubles at home, had a stressful social life, drank far too much and became incredibly ill. They were the darkest days of my life so far, and only when I came out about my gender problems did life start to fall back into place. I discovered the term ‘Gender Fluid’ and EUREKA! I embraced it and enjoyed it… to begin with. The growing struggle of passing as a man became unbearable and I discovered that I was no more of a woman in my girls’ clothes. Dysphoria began to eat away at me.

“My hips are too wide”

“My breasts are too big to bind properly”

“My arms are too thin”

“I have a very feminine face”

“My legs are too short and fat”

“I’m so short”

“Every time I put my hand there, I expect to feel a bulge, but it’s just not there”

On October 25^th, I started my life as Frank. I gradually came out to family, friends and colleagues and received nothing but support.

“I am transgender. I am male.”

My parents have found it difficult, I couldn’t expect anything else. They lost her only daughter and gained a son. That said, they have been my number one supporters all the way. I hope I’ll be able to prove to them that I am exactly the same person, it’s just my body that needs to change.

“I will not stay silent so that you can stay comfortable”

It’s amazing how far I’ve come. From a twelve year old having dreams about women and being terrified of turning out gay! Not because I was homophobic but because I wanted a typical nuclear family of my own someday. I still do… I guess I just never thought I’d be called “Dad”.

“The only queer people are those who don’t love anybody”

- Rita Mae Brown (American writer and feminist)

My name is Francis Alastair Brierley.
But you can call me 'Frank'.

fab