Socially Transitioning

I have absolutely no idea how I socially transitioned.

It feels like a decade ago since I came out to my friends, family and colleagues and to be perfectly honest I can't really remember much of it.

The important thing to remember is that you don't have to come out all at once in a dramatic outburst or a post on Facebook. I took six months from telling my friends late Autumn to telling my father early summer.

What I do remember of the very long and very tiring ordeal is that it was as smooth as it possibly could have been. I never surrounded myself with bigots or people who would have a problem with such situations so I was welcomed far and wide.

Family

My mum was always there for me and it was all her that got me this far in my medical transition. As soon as I came out about my gender issues, she fought for me to get an appointment with CAMHS, who then referred me to Charing Cross.

I'm aware that she struggles a whole lot more with my transition than she lets off and I am forever thankful that she has always been welcoming to who I really am.

My father was also 100% on-board with my

transition, however, due to other members of the family having problems with it, I no longer see him or my younger brother.

It's one of the hardest experiences to lose a loved one through choice, it continues to break my heart but I have recently realised that it is not my fault that I am who I am and blaming myself will only continue to make me miserable.

Never blame yourself or anybody else for being transgender.

I still feel guilt about being transgender every now and then. I deprived my parents of having a daughter and gave them another son. I don't think that guilt will ever truly pass but it's not affecting my way of life nor will it ever. I, as the trans person, am not the only one who will suffer and you have to realise that from day one.

Friends

I have the best friends in the world. I was going through a rough patch when I came out to them.

I didn't even have to tell each and every one, because, as I guess as it is with most friendship circles, once a couple know, they all know. At the time I found it very frustrating and annoying that friends already knew without me telling them.  I believed that they would come to their own conclusions about it and whisper behind my back because I hadn't had the chance to explain.

I should not have thought badly of my friends.

Every single one respected my transition and started calling me 'Frank' (because apparently I don't suit Francis!).

As a matter of fact, them spreading the word made it so much easier for me. I can't even explain how tedious it is the repeat the same story, the same explanation every day to somebody new.

As with anybody, not just trans people, it is so important to surround yourself with open minded, loving people who will support you what ever life throws your way.

You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends, and they make me feel like the luckiest man in the world every single day.

Work

I worked at a garden centre for two years. People from the age of 16 to 70+ worked there and they really proved to me that it's not just the younger generation that are accepting. They asked all the right questions and used the correct pronouns and name even when I hadn't legally changed my documents.

They are all fantastic people and I miss them all.

I have absolutely no idea how I socially transitioned.

I possibly have the easiest and simplest coming out story in history, but not all trans people are as lucky as me. It is so important to support anybody going through any transition or difficult time.
49% of trans people have attempted or will attempt suicide in their lifetimes. Don't be the reason they kill themselves, be the reason they build themselves.

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